14 December 2014
What is true love? Would I ever know? The days pass like a dreamy haze and the nights are unbearable. As the wrecking ball of loneliness shatters the fragile walls of my hopes, my mind wanders to the memories of him.
Where was he?
How was he?
But he called today. As the phone rang my heartbeat rose and I ran like someone was dying. I ran to hear his voice. To hear the sweetness of his words, to hear the assurance of his tone. My hands trembled as I picked up the call. It had to be him.
His tone was calm and his voice was low. But it was still familiar. A wave of relief flooded my heart and somewhere my mind sighed with relief. I did not know what to say. I had so many questions to ask. I had so many things to say. But I had no words. No words to describe the absence of his presence.
“How are you?” he said finally.
“I am fine. How are you?” I stammered as tears welled up in my eyes.
“I am fine Mia.” He paused. “I miss you.”
“I miss you too.” I said as a tear slid down my cheek.
There was silence. We heard each other breathe heavily as another tear slide down my eye. Finally after a few minutes.
“How is the university?”
“It’s amazing. The people are really warm. The faculty is amazing and I am already the president of the English club. Isn’t that cool?’
“That’s amazing!” I shrieked in glee.
“Just that you are not here.” He said in a low voice.
“Its fine, am always there with you. Somewhere.” I assured him.
The conversation went on. We laughed till our stomachs hurt and I cried till my eyes burnt. He reassured me till I calmed down. As we said our goodbyes, none of us made any promises. There was an uncertainty. We were scared of loss and hurt. It went unspoken.
12 February 2015
Where are you Mark? Two months now and not a single call. Why do I feel forgotten? You have not called since such a long time. I sit through my classes like a zombie and in the hallways, it feels like am stuck in time. Its dark around me and people move in a faster way going about their daily chores. But I stay there walking at a snail’s pace.
I lay on my bed, staring up at the ceiling. Laying their like a sloth doing nothing was happier and fun with you. You would play with my hair and tickle me till I pleaded you to stop. I loved the way you laughed so hysterically that time. The way the playful wrinkles around your eyes would show up and the butterflies in my stomach would flutter around directionless.
I even went up to the roof top. Where would sit on my Mickey Mouse blanket and count stars. I don’t know how you could see so many, cause sitting there alone, staring up at the sky. I couldn’t even find half of all you could find. There was no one to wrap a blanket around me when I was cold. I didn’t do it either as I let the chill get to me. The goose bumps on my hands were not enjoying the cold and my chattering teeth seem to be cursing the chill of the night. Your absence is becoming palpable now. Where are you? Please come back.
As I saw a shooting star travel across the sky, I wished with all my heart.
23 April 2015
Its four months and am angry. Where are you Mark? Do you waste time when you call me? Why don’t you call? Not a single letter or sign that you are alive. I am hell worried and you don’t even care. Am sure your one semester is over. Are you so busy studying, totally engrossed in your thick yellow book or did you find somebody else?
Even if you did, please call and tell me. At least, I would hear your sweet voice even though your words would be bitter. The distance is killing me and the lack of communication is making me miserable. I miss the way you would say goodnight. I can still hear you jovial voice wishing me good morning every morning. Your texts asking me to get up because you missed me are now artifacts I cherish.
I am numb. I am empty. People look at me like am an alien. I am lifeless. I am emotionless. I do have my moments. But without you the days are not the same.
1 May 2015
Sitting there on the bench, I was restless. You were coming finally. Bless summer. You finally called and I couldn’t speak. I cried; wailed. I cursed you with all the curse words I knew. All you did was soothe me and calm me down. Didn’t you miss me?
You just said you were coming home and asked me to come to the park the next day. You cut the call before I could even ask any questions. But my heart had stopped all this while. And my stomach fell as I realized I was to meet you tomorrow.
Now I didn’t know how I would react to your arrival. My heart was beating fast and I was moving my legs. It was pleasant. Sunny and the swoosh of the waves was soothing me.
Then you came.
Walking towards me in your charming way, you closed the distance. You were so close now. I was crying. Sobbing. I was feeble. You were like an angel. With that same brown hair and blue eyes. Your hands were in the pocket of your cargos and the black t shirt made you look so fine. You were smiling like you had seen a huge candy and that slight beard on your face made you look like a mature man.
I was staring in awe though half my vision was blur with tears. But yet I got up and ran. I ran towards you. And as we hugged the warmth of your body filled me with a new life. I put my head on your chest and I could hear your heart beat rise. The past few months, I imagined this moment, but this was so much better than I thought.
You kissed the top of my hair and rest your cheek on it. We didn’t care who saw us, we were amidst our reunion.
Something warm and wet fell on my cheek as I looked up into your eyes. Those blue gems were sparkling with tears of joy. Your face was glowing and as the warm sunlight fell on us you whispered “I am here with you now.”
PS- You still have a lot of explanation to do regarding communication!
Few words- distance makes it stronger. This is the story of most of the teenagers who get separated by the college or change of residence. The period of pain that they go through is unbearable and this is when the bonds break and the strength is gone. Not everyone is as lucky as Mia and Mark. But still hope for a better ending, love like you have got the best in the world and cherish the moments because they will never come back!