The cafeteria was buzzing with hungry students. It was getting congested and I was suffocating in the air of heat and noise. The annoying chatter and occasional shrill laughters was making my head throb like a drummer gone wild. I needed to get out of the heat. Into the relaxing open, into the fresh air and onto the cool grass.
I picked up my brown lunch bag and made my sweet escape to the sweet breath of nature. The warm sunlight softly kissed my cheeks as the breeze danced around me encompassing me into its cool embrace of familiarity. To a lone walker I would me a tall girl in her sneakers and braclets, a nerd and may be an outcast to the world but very much happy in her own world of joy where sadness has no entry and imagination has no bounds.
But truly I am a traveller on a way that I hav no idea where it ends. I am the wind that you would never really feel but only get the jist of. A gypsy to the musical notes of freedom and a lover to the heart of the kind.
A little petite girl held by a boy passes by. Looking blissful in each others company, I think they barely notice my presence. He holds her by the waist as she breaks into shy giggles. Her little brown eyes look up at him and in the watery gleam of her eyes all that peeps out is admiration and infinite promises of togetherness. He pulls her closer answering to her questions, thus confirming their unioun forever.
And I feel numb.
My brain turly is wired in an uncanny way. Appreciation of love and adoration is something I would never learn. I feel too messed up myself to actually understand what my better half would want. Giving up a piece of myself away is scary enough, forget thinking about actually doing so.
But currently, the cool grass was caressing my feet, as I was transferred into the world of pink peace. The silence and positivity was calming me down and the panic attack I was having in the cafeteria was definitely fading away.
I continued to walk around the field halfway through the lunch break. The sun was still shining bright and proud and the birds were chirping melodies of happy mood.
I jump. My heart was beating fast and am sure I looked lyk a lost scared puppy as his eyes were open wide in amazement. Those eyes. Blue yet warm. Like the sea you would want to drown into. They were story tellers, narrating every story with utmost care to detail. If I would ever to drown, I would rather drown in their divinty.
“Hello? You okey?”
“Yes, I am cool.” I stammered. The expression on his face clearly said that I was a total freak. He stared at my face for a while and grinned like a child seeing his favourite super hero.
“You love reading! I knew it!” he shrieked in excitement. He took a little turn and urged me to walk.
I started walking but I was in real awe. The sun was emphasizing on the golden glow of his skin and illuminating his dark hair, highlighting it in way that they looked light brown. He looked like a miracle.
“how did you figure that out?” I asked softly. His presence was obvious on my skin. Like a side of me against a warm entity which it constantly reminding me of its existance.
I was nervous.
“Hello, a fan of books can easily find its mate through the crowd. Somehow its written all over your face! And on the bands you wearing on your hands.”
His child like excitement was so palpable. Anyway, did I find someone like me? Because I could feel the energy rise in me. I glance down at the “I Love books” band and smile.
“Fan of books? I am surprised! Not seen many guys reading books. Especially guys like you who are too busy admiring their beauty!” I give out a sarcastic laugh.
“woah woah! That was harsh! Don’t judge my type!” and he put a hand on his heart and pretended to b hurt and offfended. Gaping his mouth and opening his eyes wide open. I giggle.
“I love books! They are my best friends. They explain you things no body can. They stay with you everytime and believe me or not I can really start obssessing over a book. So over the comment that you just made I would say “ he smirks “don’t judge a book by its cover!” and he starts giggling.
“oh! Good use of phrases! And you are already inside my head or what! They are not evil or cunning. They don’t hatch evil plans against you nor do they hurt you. Its amazing to cry and laugh because of them and believe me or not I thinking they are better company then human beings.”
He stops and looks at me. There is a funny look of amusement on his face. He smiles and the softness of his face increases. I almost bump into him due to his sudden halt and look up to giving him an inquisitive look.
“Hi I am mark.” He says abruptly and extends his hand forward.
“Mia” I take his hand and lightly shake it. And suddenly something weird happens.
We simply stand there looking at each other. Not moving. His hand feels heavy in mine but I didn’t want to leave it. His soft fingers lay stiff as I tried to collect my shattered thoughts. The wind was still blowing and my hair was falling onto my face. And his hair was fluttering like each strand was dancing with the wind. He leaves my hand as it falls limp and moves forward to help me out of the struggle to get my hair out of my face. But I move backwards and flip my hair back and tie them.
His hand hangs awkwardly in the air and then falls to his sides and into his pockets. I smile slightly as he stands there staring.
The trees are swaying in sycncronisation and their greeniness freshens the air. The rustling of leaves soothens the soul.
“ You are so much different to other girls out here” he says matter of factly.
“ Thanks. I don’t get that much. But ya I am aware that I am unique.”
He giggles and flaunts his charming smile. Illuminating his face with the brightness of happiness.
“you are so much smarter and real not like those fake barbies, crying over their make up and following boys all the time.”
“surprising its coming from you.”
“don’t be surprised, looks can be decieving.”
“oh! So u agree you got good looks?” I taunt and smirk.
“ I even know you are already in love with me.”
I show him my tongue and laugh. I truly laugh till my stomach hurts.
“Was that really so funny?” Mark asks amused.
“No mister, the funny thing was that you carry the same confidence as any other jock out here. But ironically you are better then them. And I am not in love with you.” I say sarcastically and subconsiously bump him with my shoulder.
He pretends to get hurt and makes an “o” face which makes me laugh even more.
Tringggg!!! The bell rings and our tryst is over. We stop laughing and turn to go. We walk in silence for a while as my stomach grumbles with empitness. He turns and smiles.
“It was nice meeting you Mia.”
“Same here Mark.”
He awkwardly lingers, smiles and walks off.
Suddenly there was a sinking feeling in my chest. The atmosphere was suddenly gloomy. I suddenly realize my heart was beating fast all this while. I try to calm myself down and think of finding Sia. But suddenly, I was too scared to loose him. But was he even mine?
With that in mind, I reluctantly walked back to my classes.
Few words- Knowing and exploring yourself is the best way to know what exactly you want. Some things start off better when you love yourself and are confident. Talking to anyone and opening up to them is easier through small cheerful conversations which seem to weave the threads of love and trust. These moments are special and important in a bond. Be it with anyone. So enjoying each moment is the best thing to do and enjoy.